A story about the background of my desire to be circumcised, the way to realize this desire and what will happen afterwards.

Comments are welcome, of course, presumed that they are expressed in a serious and civilized manner, and relevant, i.e. concerns self-chosen male circumcision. 

Dont hesitate to send an e-mail if you want to get in personal touch, just click the link on my profile.

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Sunday, 31 January 2010

Day 18: No scab

I tried to check if the scab could be removed, and it turned out to be easily done. Now it looks more and more like a "real" penis, and that's a big turn-on! The scar is still very stiff though, but I'll have to wait and see how that turns out.


Day 17: It still works!

There's not much to report today either, but I thought I should put up some pictures to "prove" that my genitals are still functioning!



Saturday, 30 January 2010

Day 15 & 16

The two last days have contained very little of interest to report, but I have to contribute a few words for "all of my fans out there". (Yes, I know you could probably keep a conference in a phone-box!)

The itching has been very little notable, and I've found that when it occurs, it doesn't origin from the scar, but from the inner skin (the skin between the scar and the glans)! That piece of skin swells up and down a bit now and then, and not all over but here and there. I suppose it still remains waste material built up there.

You're rather fed-up with these pictures by now, aren't you? The main change from day to day now seems to be the length of the pubic hair!


Day 15


Day 16

Thursday, 28 January 2010

Day 14: Two week celebration - itch but no scratch

The healing of the sore incision line on the front is still in visible progress. A minor itch has also occurred now and then during the day. So far this is itch doesn't cause any problem, and most of all I see it as a sign of health.


Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Day 13: At ease again

It's been a quite calm day. The anxiety is definitely gone, and a lot of that is due to friends on the web, which I mentioned already yesterday, and who have continued to encourage me even today.

A sign of my well-being is that I really start to feel horny again! Though this time I've learned my lesson, and won't do anything about it... at least not for the next days. 

I got a very elaborate two-divided comment on yesterday's report. Read it!

Among other things it suggested an increased need for sleep after a circumcision, mainly for psychological reasons, and I've done some thinking about that. The first days I woke up a little earlier than expected, mainly because of uncomfortable erections, but I also felt I didn't really need more sleep, so I went out of bed. This is very much like when you've just fallen in love with somebody! The decreased need of sleep is typical at those occasions, I think everybody recognizes that. The first time after being circumcised in many ways felt like being in love, with all the elation and joy!

And as you know, in every love affair sooner or later comes a backlash, which needs to be worked through to provide the love to find a way further. I suppose that's what happened the last days to "me and my circumcision". Hence the need for sleep increased too, and in fact I've slept 10-12 hours the last days!


Tuesday, 26 January 2010

Day 12: Back from backlash

Yesterday and this morning could be called the time for my first backlash, at least in emotional terms. Why?

1: When I got erected I noticed what I called a "rift", caused by the scarline on the front of penis, making it look crooked. Though it didn't hurt it looked a bit worrying and rendered me some distress.
2: After I'd been stupid enough to masturbate, some of the swelling came back, and the not fully healed incision line became more sore. This made me feel very repentant (who'd think I'd feel anxiety about masturbating at this age?) and increased the distress.

All in all, it felt like a backlash and brought up the inevitable thoughts: Was it really a wise decision to get a circumcision? ...etc.

A good night's sleep and contact with good and supporting friends (not called the doctor yet, maybe I'm a little embarrassed over not having "looked after myself" properly) eased my mind though. The swelling has decreased a bit again, and it's natural that the circulation system doesn't work properly yet in my penis. The distressing tight scar tissue ("the crooking rift") also needs time to settle down before I should worry too much about it.
(You can see on the pictures for yourself, the crook is more visible in some of them!)

Healing takes time! I should know this, and I do know this, but anxiety sometimes seems to take nourishment wherever it can be found, no matter what rationality and logic say. It was a mistake to masturbate, absolutely, but I don't think it caused any real damage, except for perhaps stealing a few days from the healing process.


My penis in flaccid state.


My penis just starting to erect.

Sunday, 24 January 2010

Day 11: Snake in paradise

When I showered the scab loosened a lot, and I could see with my own eyes that the stitches no longer served any purpose. So I boiled the necessary tools and removed them! It may have been a bit to early, not for the stitches, but the scab that was removed simultaneously should probably better have stayed for one or two more days, since there was a little bleeding when it went off. I don't consider that a big problem though, since the bleeding was minimal.

It was a real turn-on to see the more "clean" incision line, and my penis looked more "ready". Well, turn-on... I started to erect, and then I got a bit concerned by the scarline on the front of the penis. It formed sort of a rift when I erected, as if it was stiff and didn't follow the tissue around when expanding. It didn't hurt, but the penis looked a bit bent when hardened, as you can see on the photos. 

Nevertheless, all the arousal caused me to do something I'd told myself to await until later. Masturbate, of course! I tried to be careful and not rub the scar, so I stimulated only scrotum and glans, which was quite enough. The sensation of penile skin stretched like never before was extremely exciting! All in all, I had a pleasurable moment, and then ejaculated in a way I've never experienced before. The semen shot in the air like a geyser and even hit my face!

Afterwards I felt a little regret... Shouldn't I have waited a few more days? Maybe so, but now it was done... That penis crook made me feel a little anxious too. Will this gradually even out, or is my penis now deformed? I should call the doctor and ask if this is normal, but I'll wait a few more days and see what happens. 

Now, this day has been filled with both joy and anxiety, it's really my first moment of worry since I had my circumcision. I'll have to be patient for yet another while, I suppose, do not want to feel regret... I hope this was a bad day (pity to have my first post-circ orgasm on such a day) in the process following a circumcision, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who's gotten doubts in mind during that process.




Saturday, 23 January 2010

Day 10: "De-scabbing" starts

Today: Less swelling. More of the scarline that is visibly closed. I won't keep on nagging about that lump, but nothing is really new there... 

After bathing, some of the scab has fallen off, mostly  on the right side as is seen on the pictures below. It also seems as if this side is the one that has healed best so far. A certain point, which I located to a stitch on the left side, hurts a little now and then, especially if I begin to erect which I do more and more now! 

And despite the absence of erections during the last weeks, the secretion of precum (did you know the scientific term i Cowper's fluid?) has in no way decreased, rather the opposite. I think this is the consequence of lots of sexual arousal without relief, so the glands just keep oozing to prepare for sexual activities that never occur!

All in all, my penis seems to be a little better today too!


Friday, 22 January 2010

Day 9: Better and worse

This morning the swelling is noticeably reduced in some parts, and the whole penis sort of "feels" less swollen. The skin closest to the incision line looks a little dry, almost as if it'll start to flake off soon, which I suppose it will do, and should be a sign of healing.

The lump on the backside, though, looks untidy and inflamed - maybe even more today! It feels as if that lump is going to keep on troubling my mind...


Thursday, 21 January 2010

Day 8

Countless times it's been joked about how men are occupied with their penises - and we laugh at the jokes simply because we, with some embarrassment, recognize ourselves. For example: Those of you guys who have never measured your penis, raise your hands! And you who raised your hands - shame on you to be such liars!

I'm certainly no exception, and studied my penis thoroughly this morning. The incision line on the backside doesn't look very nice at same places. In the middle it looks sort of like a lump, and has done so all the time, and I wonder if it's going to even out in the end. It looks a little messy around some stitches too, but I found something that lit me up too: Between two stitches, the skin has visibly healed. This tiny little line has just closed! The incision has now become a whole and rather even piece of skin. My body is working as it should, and that shouldn't surprise me  - though seeing with my own eyes that it now is happening gives me some comfort and release some of the unconscious doubt.

In general my penis feels more physically calm today, I can't express it better, and the skin really looks like it's healing. Maybe reduction of swelling cause this notion.


I haven't had an ejaculation since last Sunday, that's eleven days ago. There's nothing strange about that, since I now and the have periods for 1-2 weeks when I don't have an orgasm just because I don't feel lust, and I have really not felt any need since my circumcision!

However, now I'm beginning to feel it would be very pleasurable to masturbate! But - just forget about it until later... Maybe it's another sign of healing - my body's starting to recognize genital functioning.



Wednesday, 20 January 2010

Day 7: Circumcised for one week!

There's no noticeable change in swelling today, but the wound has been running a bit again, and it comes from the backside of the penis. 

One commentator mentioned that this side is the one that heals slower since it's more exposed to different kinds of wearing. This may be the case here. I notice that the area around some of the stitches on the  backside looks a little inflamed, which is not the case on the front. 

I admit that I feel a little fear that the scar will heal poorly and end up uneven and lumpy. No one can tell today how the result will look like. Though I must keep in mind that the main goal is already achieved and irreversible: no foreskin covers the glans.

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Day 6

Today is very much like yesterday. The swelling seems to have been slightly reduced, and there has been a little running from the wound. No big drama though!

I enjoy my circumcised state a lot. Since my body seems to have suspended genital arousal, the spiritual one is growing instead. Thoughts and emotions can be very sensual and exciting in themselves, even though not transmitted into bodily reactions and actions. More and more interesting effects of this experience turn up!

Monday, 18 January 2010

Day 5: Not a sexy sight

This night I had my first working shift since I was circumcised. I had to be a lot more careful about how I walked. My steps were quite gentle instead of quick as the usually are! I also wrapped my penis in gauze to reduce the rubbing.

The last days have mostly been spent in horizontal position, so a working shift with my body walking around a lot did have effects on the comfort of my penis, though I can't say it was big trouble.

When I came home and undressed, I could notice a big increase in swelling, but keep in mind that it's a sign that my body works and the healing process is going on.


Sunday, 17 January 2010

Day 4

What's new today? 

1. No pain at all.

2. More swelling, especially of the skin below the incision line.

That's all!


Saturday, 16 January 2010

Day 3: Throbbing

I was awakened with an erection this morning too, though after seven hours of sleep, so there's nothing to complain about. 

The swelling has increased since I removed the bandage yesterday, as is visible below! There has been no pain to speak about until now, but today the penis has begun to throb, constantly but with low intensity. No other troubles, so far!