Sunday, 31 January 2010
Saturday, 30 January 2010
The two last days have contained very little of interest to report, but I have to contribute a few words for "all of my fans out there". (Yes, I know you could probably keep a conference in a phone-box!)
The itching has been very little notable, and I've found that when it occurs, it doesn't origin from the scar, but from the inner skin (the skin between the scar and the glans)! That piece of skin swells up and down a bit now and then, and not all over but here and there. I suppose it still remains waste material built up there.You're rather fed-up with these pictures by now, aren't you? The main change from day to day now seems to be the length of the pubic hair!
Thursday, 28 January 2010
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
A sign of my well-being is that I really start to feel horny again! Though this time I've learned my lesson, and won't do anything about it... at least not for the next days.
I got a very elaborate two-divided comment on yesterday's report. Read it!
Among other things it suggested an increased need for sleep after a circumcision, mainly for psychological reasons, and I've done some thinking about that. The first days I woke up a little earlier than expected, mainly because of uncomfortable erections, but I also felt I didn't really need more sleep, so I went out of bed. This is very much like when you've just fallen in love with somebody! The decreased need of sleep is typical at those occasions, I think everybody recognizes that. The first time after being circumcised in many ways felt like being in love, with all the elation and joy!
And as you know, in every love affair sooner or later comes a backlash, which needs to be worked through to provide the love to find a way further. I suppose that's what happened the last days to "me and my circumcision". Hence the need for sleep increased too, and in fact I've slept 10-12 hours the last days!
Tuesday, 26 January 2010
1: When I got erected I noticed what I called a "rift", caused by the scarline on the front of penis, making it look crooked. Though it didn't hurt it looked a bit worrying and rendered me some distress.
2: After I'd been stupid enough to masturbate, some of the swelling came back, and the not fully healed incision line became more sore. This made me feel very repentant (who'd think I'd feel anxiety about masturbating at this age?) and increased the distress.
All in all, it felt like a backlash and brought up the inevitable thoughts: Was it really a wise decision to get a circumcision? ...etc.
A good night's sleep and contact with good and supporting friends (not called the doctor yet, maybe I'm a little embarrassed over not having "looked after myself" properly) eased my mind though. The swelling has decreased a bit again, and it's natural that the circulation system doesn't work properly yet in my penis. The distressing tight scar tissue ("the crooking rift") also needs time to settle down before I should worry too much about it.
(You can see on the pictures for yourself, the crook is more visible in some of them!)
Healing takes time! I should know this, and I do know this, but anxiety sometimes seems to take nourishment wherever it can be found, no matter what rationality and logic say. It was a mistake to masturbate, absolutely, but I don't think it caused any real damage, except for perhaps stealing a few days from the healing process.
My penis in flaccid state.
My penis just starting to erect.
Sunday, 24 January 2010
It was a real turn-on to see the more "clean" incision line, and my penis looked more "ready". Well, turn-on... I started to erect, and then I got a bit concerned by the scarline on the front of the penis. It formed sort of a rift when I erected, as if it was stiff and didn't follow the tissue around when expanding. It didn't hurt, but the penis looked a bit bent when hardened, as you can see on the photos.
Nevertheless, all the arousal caused me to do something I'd told myself to await until later. Masturbate, of course! I tried to be careful and not rub the scar, so I stimulated only scrotum and glans, which was quite enough. The sensation of penile skin stretched like never before was extremely exciting! All in all, I had a pleasurable moment, and then ejaculated in a way I've never experienced before. The semen shot in the air like a geyser and even hit my face!
Afterwards I felt a little regret... Shouldn't I have waited a few more days? Maybe so, but now it was done... That penis crook made me feel a little anxious too. Will this gradually even out, or is my penis now deformed? I should call the doctor and ask if this is normal, but I'll wait a few more days and see what happens.
Now, this day has been filled with both joy and anxiety, it's really my first moment of worry since I had my circumcision. I'll have to be patient for yet another while, I suppose, do not want to feel regret... I hope this was a bad day (pity to have my first post-circ orgasm on such a day) in the process following a circumcision, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who's gotten doubts in mind during that process.
Saturday, 23 January 2010
Today: Less swelling. More of the scarline that is visibly closed. I won't keep on nagging about that lump, but nothing is really new there...
After bathing, some of the scab has fallen off, mostly on the right side as is seen on the pictures below. It also seems as if this side is the one that has healed best so far. A certain point, which I located to a stitch on the left side, hurts a little now and then, especially if I begin to erect which I do more and more now!
And despite the absence of erections during the last weeks, the secretion of precum (did you know the scientific term i Cowper's fluid?) has in no way decreased, rather the opposite. I think this is the consequence of lots of sexual arousal without relief, so the glands just keep oozing to prepare for sexual activities that never occur!
All in all, my penis seems to be a little better today too!
Friday, 22 January 2010
This morning the swelling is noticeably reduced in some parts, and the whole penis sort of "feels" less swollen. The skin closest to the incision line looks a little dry, almost as if it'll start to flake off soon, which I suppose it will do, and should be a sign of healing.
The lump on the backside, though, looks untidy and inflamed - maybe even more today! It feels as if that lump is going to keep on troubling my mind...
Thursday, 21 January 2010
Countless times it's been joked about how men are occupied with their penises - and we laugh at the jokes simply because we, with some embarrassment, recognize ourselves. For example: Those of you guys who have never measured your penis, raise your hands! And you who raised your hands - shame on you to be such liars!
I'm certainly no exception, and studied my penis thoroughly this morning. The incision line on the backside doesn't look very nice at same places. In the middle it looks sort of like a lump, and has done so all the time, and I wonder if it's going to even out in the end. It looks a little messy around some stitches too, but I found something that lit me up too: Between two stitches, the skin has visibly healed. This tiny little line has just closed! The incision has now become a whole and rather even piece of skin. My body is working as it should, and that shouldn't surprise me - though seeing with my own eyes that it now is happening gives me some comfort and release some of the unconscious doubt.
In general my penis feels more physically calm today, I can't express it better, and the skin really looks like it's healing. Maybe reduction of swelling cause this notion.
I haven't had an ejaculation since last Sunday, that's eleven days ago. There's nothing strange about that, since I now and the have periods for 1-2 weeks when I don't have an orgasm just because I don't feel lust, and I have really not felt any need since my circumcision!
However, now I'm beginning to feel it would be very pleasurable to masturbate! But - just forget about it until later... Maybe it's another sign of healing - my body's starting to recognize genital functioning.
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
There's no noticeable change in swelling today, but the wound has been running a bit again, and it comes from the backside of the penis.
One commentator mentioned that this side is the one that heals slower since it's more exposed to different kinds of wearing. This may be the case here. I notice that the area around some of the stitches on the backside looks a little inflamed, which is not the case on the front.
I admit that I feel a little fear that the scar will heal poorly and end up uneven and lumpy. No one can tell today how the result will look like. Though I must keep in mind that the main goal is already achieved and irreversible: no foreskin covers the glans.
Tuesday, 19 January 2010
I enjoy my circumcised state a lot. Since my body seems to have suspended genital arousal, the spiritual one is growing instead. Thoughts and emotions can be very sensual and exciting in themselves, even though not transmitted into bodily reactions and actions. More and more interesting effects of this experience turn up!
Monday, 18 January 2010
The last days have mostly been spent in horizontal position, so a working shift with my body walking around a lot did have effects on the comfort of my penis, though I can't say it was big trouble.
When I came home and undressed, I could notice a big increase in swelling, but keep in mind that it's a sign that my body works and the healing process is going on.
Sunday, 17 January 2010
Saturday, 16 January 2010
I was awakened with an erection this morning too, though after seven hours of sleep, so there's nothing to complain about.
The swelling has increased since I removed the bandage yesterday, as is visible below! There has been no pain to speak about until now, but today the penis has begun to throb, constantly but with low intensity. No other troubles, so far!